Taking it easy

In office today. God I hate working on Saturdays, but it’s a relief to know that this is just temporary, till they find some more writers. Quite empty – the office today. Eased into my chair, I’m taking it easy and listening to enter sandman… why? I don’t know. though it’s hardly a morning song. Oh but the track has changed… Eric Clapton Ladies and Gentlemen!

Tomorrow is moving day. Quite nervous about that.

Shit. I’m really taking it too easy!

The Ugly thorn in my side :(

It’s been almost 9 months since I quit smoking. Today however, I’m getting this unbearable urge to smoke. I don’t know what it is!

Right now, sitting on my desk I’m missing Husband too unbelievably much. Perhaps the best part of my day is when I’m sleeping and he snuggles up to me, so that when I wake up, he is still holding me. God! I hate him so much… and I love him even more! It’s crazy.

Yesterday finally went to visit the house the he’s chosen for us. Almost vomited upon seeing the color of the walls. That house is so… ugly. I don’t know what Husband liked in it. Don’t know how I’m going to adjust there. I hate ugly houses and to live in one is perhaps the biggest punishment. I felt so low yesterday… after seeing the place. Dont even care about decorating the place anymore. Dont care about what furniture to buy… I JUST hate feeling like this. This is the exact way I used to feel in Assam. Village people live in houses like that

Some one please trade your apartment with mine. I hate that place :’(

Moral of the story – Men don’t do houses. So don’t trust them with doing that.

Skirmishes

What is it with the world? I mean really. What is it? Is there a conspiracy being planned against me? Let me explain.

I drive this fabulously sparkling wine red colored Ford. Beautiful piece of machinery and my second love. Yesterday when I came home, I parked it in front of my house. Later in the night, when I took the car out to drive down to the mall, I saw that someone had put scratches on it. Now these are definitely no ordinary marks. These are marks that someone put there deliberately. With a brick or a sharp object or something. The paint was scratched right out. I slept cursing the entire family of the kid who would have done that. Today morning… on my way to work… this stupid shit of a truck, hit me on a red light and fled! my Bumper is all screwed now and I am screaming bloody murder.

May blind rams fuck the assholes who feel that they have the right to deface or disfigure other people’s properties.

On a more philosophical note, I have been wondering what good it does to blame other people for your mistakes. I mean come on… who are you trying to kid?

A few months ago I did something terrible… I mistake that I would pay for, for the rest of my life. It all started with a stupid decision. A decision that I was warned against by many. But I think I’m too smart and I went ahead and did it anyway. Now, every night as I lay in my bed, I repent.

I blamed God, blamed the world, blamed everybody I knew… and then stewed in my own guilt. No matter who I yell at, who I blame… my guilt is my own to endure and nothing can really be done about it. Anyway, what’s done is done. One can only try to make thing better… or maybe salvage whatever little one’s got.

Don’t you think I’ve matured a little after getting married? No? But I do feel a little proud of myself though!

Good Morning

I am finally back in Delhi. It seems to me as if I am tied to this city. no matter what part of the world I am in, I never seem to stick to it. Delhi beckons from some unseen, unknown corner of my heart.

It’s been a long time since I wrote here and I got a couple of angry retorts about that from someone I know. Well, for one thing, I have always felt that my blog is full of absolutely needy and useless crap and could never imagine why any body would read it. Second, I was in Assam – the place where if you breathe a little loud, someone would definitely shoot you. I was not allowed to carry a phone. If I had to call someone, I would have to drive about 40 Km to the nearest town and make a call. No internet connection and almost every two days there was an indefinite curfew.

Thank God I’m out of that place. Good riddance!

I am put up at my parents’ house right now. Have already taken an apartment in Dwarka – South West Delhi – Somewhere close to my husband’s workplace.

Husband’s just joined work yesterday. On his first day itself, he came back making faces and complaining. Frankly, I am getting a little tired of the incessant complaining about the unfairness of life. Well… he needs to learn to deal with it. Life IS unfair and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Anyway, he called me today as soon as he reached work and I liked it. with all the moving and the packing and the starting new jobs… we were not really getting time for each other and that was really upsetting me.

Oh and I got a job as a content writer in an American company. Pretty cool. I get to write to my heart’s content now and thats VERY VERY COOL. There’s also a trip to (maybe immigration to) Costa Rica in the offing and I’m all charged up. For one, I love Spanish people. Even if it’s American Spanish people. I have always believed that Spanish people are the most creative writers. All my favorite writers, musicians and artists are either Spanish or Spanish speaking.

Second, I am going to live in a place which has beaches. Lots of white sands and deep blue waters. Excited is the buzzword for the day!

p.s. – some people think that treating a blog like a journal is sick. It takes away the seriousness of other people’s blogs. I say death to you motherfuckers.